Top of the Trail Art Therapy
wonderful things can be achieved.” – Mattie Stepanek
Reagon Heikes, M.A., LMHC
Hi, I’m Reagon of Reagon Cara Counseling & Coaching, located in Los Alamos, NM and virtually. I’m a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in New Mexico, that specializes in Gottman Method couples therapy and working with children and their families. I also offer distance coaching services for those looking to do body image work, those looking for the fast road to quality romantic partnership, and in helping people reach their own unique goals.
My therapeutic work if focused on helping families and couples come together as a team to work through their challenges and improve their quality of life. This frequently looks like learning lots of new helpful skills about communication, conflict management, and parenting. I believe that couples therapy is the often the best financial and time investment that you can make, period, here’s why:
It’s no surprise that relationships are hard, over 50% of marriages in the U.S. end in divorce or separation and that doesn’t even include the ones that didn’t make it to the alter. I believe that relationships are hard work, but they don’t need to be painful and unsettling. There is an evidence based blue print based on decades of research to help you out of the relationship doldrums. Constantly in my work I see couples learn how to effectively connect through actions, words, and shared values in my office and then slowly implement their new skills at home. When these intentional steps are taken by equally determined members of the partnership the relationship will improve.
I read somewhere years ago that, the reason why we seek long-term romantic relationship is because we want a witness to our lives. My understanding of that phrase has inevitably evolved through my clinical experience. I see now that everyone of us is hard wired for connection, we want to be seen, heard, validated, celebrated and supported. From infancy all the way through our end of life. My clinical goal is always to co-identify the unmet needs and work to meet them together.
I see this imperative need for social and emotional safety underneath all of the reasons that we seek therapy. Anxiety, grief, anger, depression, hopelessness, trauma, spontaneously occurring mental health disorders, goal reaching, all of these improve when we gain the courage, awareness, and resources to create our own internal and external safety net.
The road to the well-being does not have to start or end in a therapist’s office. I’m a major proponent of any approaches that are healthy and result in positive change. Maybe you’re already on your way, or maybe you’re not. Wherever you are there are an array of licensed professional therapists available to help.
When I was in the home stretch of my graduate program in clinical counseling my mother called to confided in me about some serious relationship problems that she was experiencing. My newly enlightened self new better than to try and rescue her in that moment, so instead I strongly suggested that she find a therapist. She simply responded, “Do you think it actually works?”. There I was two years and an unspeakable financial investment into my immediately pending career as a therapist defending the entire field to my mother. In the least condescending tone I could muster, “Yes, it works, it’s just all about fit”.
I still stand by my knowing (and the work of this Roger’s guy) that the most critical part of therapy is the relationship between the client(s) and the therapist. My hope is that you find your clinical person, or your series of people that can help you down the path to greater clarity and compassion about your own life experience and hopefully a nudge of two in the direction you actively chose to be going.